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THE LAUGHING GNOME
I was walking- down the high street- when I heard footsteps behind me
and there was a little old man in scarlet and grey chuckling away.
Well he trotted- back to my house- and he sat beside the telly
with his tiny hands on his tummy chuckling away chugging all day.
[spoken] "I ought to report you to the gnome office." "Gnome office hahaha!"
Haha ha!- Heehee hee!- I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-
Haha ha!- Heehee hee!- I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-
Said the laughing gnome.
Well I gave him- roasted toad-stools- And a glass of dandelion wine.
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne and carried his bag and gave him a fag.
"Ave you got a light boy?" "'Ere! Where do you come from?"
"Gnome-man's land." "Ohreally."
In the morning- when I woke up- he was sitting on the edge of my bed-
with his brother whose name was Fred. He'd brought him along- to sing me a song.-
"Alright let's here it?" "'Ere! what's that clicking sound?"
"That's Fred. He's a metrognome." "Own up. I'm a gnome ain' I?"
"Ain't you got a gnome to go to?"
"No! We're gnomads." "Didn't they teach you to get your 'aircut at school? You
look like a rolling gnome."
"Not at the London school of Ecognomics."
Now they staying- up the chimney- and we're living on caviar and honey-
'cause they're earning me lots of moneywriting comedy prose for radio shows.
"It's the er- it's the gnome service of course."
[repeat chorus and fade]
(supprime les barrés)