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Vegematic
Steve Goodman
Capo 2
[VERSE 1]
Fell asleep last night with the TV on
Oh what a dream I had
I dreamed I went and answered every single one
Of those late night mail order ads
And four to six weeks later much to my surprise
The mailman came to my front door
And I couldn't believe my eyes
[CHORUS 1]
When he brought the Vegematic
And the Pocket Fisherman too
Illuminated illustrated history of life
Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife
A bamboo steamer and a Garden Weasel too
And a tie-dyed dayglo souvenir shirt from Six Flags Over Burbank
[VERSE 2]
Well the doorbell rang all morning and all through the afternoon
I shook with fright as it rang all night
To the light of the Master Card moon
There was Parcel Post in the pantry
UPS in the hall
C.O.D. to the ceiling and I just couldn't pay for it all
[CHORUS 2]
I got the egg scrambler with a Seal-a-Meal carrying case
A set of presidential commemorative plates
So I could eat my eggs off the President's face
A Minute Mender and a needle that'll knit or crochet
And an autographed photograph of Rin Tin Tin
At Six Flags Over Burbank
[VERSE 3]
I remembered I was dreaming so I gave a mighty cheer
When I awoke it was no joke 'cause all that shit was here
So if you fall asleep with the TV on let me tell you what to do:
Rip the telephone out of the wall unless you want it to happen to you
[CHORUS 3]
You get the Vegematic and the Pocket Fisherman too
Illuminated illustrated history of life
And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife
A bamboo steamer and a smokeless ashtray too
And an all expenses paid weekend for three at Six Flags Over Burbank