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[Chords]
D7sus x00213
C/G xx2013 (or 3x2013)
[Intro]
/ / / /
[Verse 1]
D7sus
Well I took me a woman late last night
I was three-fourths drunk she looked alright
D7sus
'Til she started peelin' off her onion-gook
She took off her wig an' said "How do I look?"
I was high-flyin'
Bare-naked
Out the window
[Verse 2]
D7sus
Well sometimes I might get drunk
Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk
D7sus
Don't hurt me none it don't hurt my pride
'Cause I got my little lady right by my side
She's-a tryin' to hide
Pretendin' she don't know me
[Verse 3]
D7sus
I's out there paintin' on the old woodshed
When a can of black paint it fell on my head
D7sus
I went down to scrub and rub
But I had to sit in back of the tub
Cost a quarter
Half-price
[Verse 4]
D7sus
Well my telephone rang it would not stop
It's President Kennedy callin' me up
D7sus
He said "My friend Bob what do we need to make the country grow?"
I said "My friend John Brigitte Bardot
Anita Ekberg
Sophia Loren
Country-O-Grow"
[Verse 5]
D7sus
Well I got a woman four feet short
She yells and hollers and screams and snorts
D7sus
She tickles my nose pats me on the head
Rolls me over and kicks me outta bed
She's a man-eater
Meat-grinder
Bad loser
[Verse 6]
D7sus
Oh there ain't no use in me workin' all the time
I got a woman who works herself blind
D7sus
Works up to her britches up to her neck
Writes me letters and sends me checks
She's a humdinger
Folk singer
[Verse 7]
D7sus
Late one day in the middle of the week
Eyes were closed I was half asleep
D7sus
I chased me a woman up the hill
Right in the middle of an air raid drill
I jumped the fallout shelter
I jumped the string-bean
I jumped the TV dinner
I jumped the shotgun
[Verse 8]
D7sus
Now the man on the stand he wants my vote
He's a-runnin' for office on a ballot note
D7sus
He's out there preachin' in front of the steeple
Tellin' me he loves all kinds of people
He's eatin' bagels
He's eatin' pizza
He's eatin' chitlins
[Verse 9]
D7sus
Oh I set me down on the television floor
I flipped the channel on to number four
D7sus
Out of the shower comes a football man
With a bottle of oil in his hand
Greasy kid stuff
D7sus
But what I want to know Mr. Football Man
Is what do you do about Willy Mays?
Martin Luther King?
Oula Tunjee?
[Verse 10]
D7sus
Well the funniest woman I ever seen
Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. Clean
D7sus
She takes about fifteen baths a day
Wants me to grow a mustache on my face
She's insane
[Verse 11]
D7sus
Well ya ask me why I'm drunk all the time
It levels my head and eases my mind
D7sus
I just walk along and stroll and sing
I'll see better days and I'll do better things
I'll catch dinosaurs
Make love to Elizabeth Taylor
Catch hell from Richard Burton
