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The average unmarried female
Basically insecure
Due to some long frustration
May react
With psychosomatic symptoms
Difficult to endure
Affecting the upper respiratory tract
In other words
Just from waiting around
For that plain little band of gold
A person can develop a cold
You can spray her wherever you figure
The streptococci lurk
You can give her a shot for whatever she's got
But it just won't work
If she's tired of getting the fish-eye
From the hotel clerk
A person can develop a cold it says here
The female remaining single
Just in the legal sense
Shows a neurotic tendency
Chronic organic syndromes
Toxic or hypertense
Involving the eye
The ear the nose and throat
In other words just from wondering
Whether the wedding is on or off
A person can develop a cough
You can feed her all day
With the Vitamin A and the Bromo Fizz
But the medicine never
Gets anywhere near where the trouble is
If she's getting a kind of name for herself
And the name ain't "his"
A person can develop a cough
And further more just from stalling
And stalling and stalling
The wedding trip
A person can develop La gripe
When they get on a train
For Niag'ra and she can hear church bells chime
The compartment is air conditioned
And the mood sublime
Then they get off at Saratoga
For the fourteenth time
A person can develop La gripe
La grippe la post nasal drip
With the wheezes and the sneezes
And a sinus that's really a pip
From a lack of community property
And a feeling shes getting too old
A person can develop a big bad cold
(moins de barrés)